It’s Good Friday and I honestly feel like I am missing time or something because how can it already be Easter time? It was just Christmas an eyeblink ago.
That’s not even mentioning the fact of when Easter is actually falling and Lord, Himself Up High has a sense of humor and that’s no mistake.
I will be alone yet not alone this holiday. My charming roommate is off at a con, making us all proud (and I’ve already heard from people about my absence being noted etc etc) and my parents have plans with their churches.
I am considering on how I want to celebrate this holiday. If I want to try and make it to church with my parents which involves getting up pretty much with the dawn if I want to join them at their church. If I want to try and marshal my strength to attempt one of the churches nearer to me. Or if I want to have a private service by myself in the backyard.
The not-alone part comes from the fact that I’m spending Saturday and Sunday afternoons with my parents. Mostly hanging out and watching things and just being together. I know that my lack of a dedicated church home bothers them, but there’s too much right now that I still have to work through before I can come back to that search. That is its own post.
So I am weirdly in between for this weekend and it might turn out to be a good thing, letting my brain untangle several things it’s been pounding on as I attempt to let my body rest as much as I can. Fear isn’t the mind-killer for me, Depression/Anxiety are and they’ve been hitting harder this week. I endure, but it takes its toll. I haven’t really been writing this week, but I’ve been burning through books at some thing like my old college pace. So far this week I’ve gone through at least 3 800+ page books, which tells me that while part of my brain is still struggling to fight back through the fog, the other creative parts are alive and kicking.
To everyone who celebrates, Happy Easter and Happy Passover. I hope it is everything you needed.