Warning: Discussion of Suicidal Ideation and Spoilers for The Pitt S1E1. Please take care of yourself.
When I started watching The Pitt, one of the things that hit me out of the park was when in the beginning of the pilot episode, you have a scene with two people on a roof, one of them talking the other down from letting go. I cannot tell you how hard that resonated when I saw it.
Our initial point of view character is Dr. “Robby” Robinavitch, chief attending at Pittsburgh Medical Trauma Center, walking into the Emergency Department to start his shift. He’s looking for his Night Shift counterpart and can’t find him down in the Pitt, so he heads up to the roof.
We get context clues via body language and dialogue that tells us that this isn’t the first time this has happened. We understand that there’s a history here (specifically between these two characters) displayed in how the charge nurse tells Dr. Robby, “Think he’s getting some air.”
The “he” in this case is referring to Dr. Jack Abbot, who is on the wrong side of the railing on the roof, staring out at the sunrise. The dialogue from the script below sketches out a brilliant moment.
ROBBY: Whatchya doing, Jack? (no response) Pretty busy down there.
ABBOT: Had a guy come in hit by a drunk driver in a cross-walk. Thirty nine year-old veteran. Survived three tours without a scratch. I spent the last two hours coding him.
ROBBY: That’s always a tough way to end the night. Why don’t you come and walk me through what you’ve left for me.
ABBOT: I must have had a reason at some point. But I can’t think of it.
ROBBY: Reason for what?
ABBOT: To keep coming back.
ROBBY: Because this is the job that keeps on giving. (off his look) Nightmares, ulcers, suicidal tendencies…Besides, if you jump on my shift–well, that’s just rude.
Abbot shares a look with Robby before coming back over to the right side of the railing.
ABBOT: I hope I’m never one of your patients.
ROBBY: That makes two of us, my friend.
It was a crap shift for Abbot and he’s very literally looking down and out on a ledge. One wrong move and it’s over. Something happened to trip the minefield in his head and he knows it. What’s more is that he knows what will happen if he does take that step, especially given his profession. He’s seen shit, done shit, and he’s tired. His bearing gives us that, the slight slump of his shoulders, the thousand yard stare. This man has been riding that raggedy edge and the exhaustion shows. We get the inference that Abbot is also a veteran and he’s taking this loss a little more personally than he otherwise might.
Robby is coming in to a bit of a mess because night shift was also down several people which affected wait times and triage. He’s got administrative duties on top of the medical responsibilities. He needs to know what happened overnight that he’s going to need to be aware of, what complications, all of that. His shift is just beginning and he’s already tired. However, here on the roof, he listens to Abbot without judgment, he’s physically present, he keeps that dialogue open. He’s also not above pulling a slight guilt trip at the very end as only a good friend could.
It’s important to note that none of it is played for melodrama. It’s not overdone for extra theatricality/shock value. It’s not blown off or dismissed after. It’s played straight. As someone with depression, who has dealt with suicidal ideation off and on, I struggle to adequately convey how much this meant to me. Because this is how it actually goes from someone who has been on both sides of that equation. Suicidal ideation, passive or active, is hard as hell to explain to people who haven’t walked this walk.
This representation means a lot.
One of the first things my psychiatrist asked me for during my initial intake appointment was if I had people I called when I was in crisis and if so, how many were on that list. He wanted to make sure I had someone besides my own self for when the moments got really tough and that external voice/presence was needed to break through. I was fortunate to have a list of people that I a) trusted b) could/would/did call in a crisis.
The way that Robby and Abbot interact, the lack of judgment, the presence, the de-escalation, the trust between the two of them. To see the moment that Abbot decides to let Robby convince him to step back over to the right side of the railing and that acknowledgement that mental health stuff happens to anyone and everyone and it’s not something to be ashamed about.
That meant the world.
There are people without whom I would not be here. I know others can say the same thing for me. If this hits a chord with you and you don’t know or have people you can hit up when stuff gets dark, please know that I think the world is better with you in it and that my socials are open if you need someone to talk to. You aren’t a burden. I promise you that.
The Pitt can be watched on HBO Max, new episodes Thursdays at 9/8 Central.
