Books That Made Me – Part Three: Bridge to Terabithia

Bridge To Terabithia, where do I even begin with this book? I found it by accident in the library at my elementary school (the KY one instead of the AZ one). I had been looking for something else entirely and found Bridge To Terabithia instead. I was always the last kid out of the library so I had to hurry because the rest of my class was waiting on me. So I grabbed it and took it home and proceeded to have my entire world wrecked. I think I read it four times in the week I had it.

I’ll try to explain a little more about that without getting into massive spoiler territory for anyone who hasn’t read it. Bridge To Terabithia is a book about the power of imagination. It is also a coming of age story. Our protagonist is a boy kind of stuck, wanting something else, something different, but not necessarily having the ability to change much right now. There’s a multitude of reasons for it. His family isn’t that well off and he’s got at least four sisters that are named in the text. There are expectations he’s supposed to meet.

And then he meets the force of nature that is his new neighbor and there’s all of a sudden light at the end of the tunnel that he can almost reach. There’s a glimmer of hope that he’s able to see. That he doesn’t maybe have to stay stuck, that it’s actually possible to get out.

That was really important to kid me.

Coming back to this book as a grown-up, I also love that it emphasizes that once you get out, you reach a hand down and pull up others who are looking to make their own way out and free. All in all, there’s a bittersweet magical quality to the book that leaves you a bit different after you read it.

The Originals/Legacies S5/S1

So I am a little behind with this, I know. But this past week/weekend I was finally able to finish The Originals s5 and the first season of Legacies. This is also your SPOILER WARNING.

Holy wow, Batman.

I mean we knew that things were going to be bad after the way that s4 ended and to know that there was going to be a time skip on top of this being the last season of Originals? The showrunners aren’t exactly known for their happily ever afters. So I was already braced for things to get deep down and dirtier than even what we’d seen before. The show did not disappoint there and neither did the cast.

The amount of emotion that each of them put into every moment was fantastic and it was a good way to send the show off. Certain moments had me sniffling into the couch. It was a really fascinating look at the different factions and how far they’d come since the beginning and how far certain characters had come.

One of my favorite moments is when Vincent marshalls the New Orleans coven and gets rid of the Ancestral Well, putting all the Ancestors to peace at last, and letting go of that power sink. It was a good moment for him and the right decision if the coven wanted to move ahead.

While I hated losing some of the characters that I really loved, it was a good send off to see Klaus and Elijah going out on their own terms together. And for New Orleans to really recover/bounce back from the faction wars between the big 3 and then between the Mikaelsons and the very Nazi-esque faction of blood purists – the Mikaelson vampires needed to go as well. Klaus and Elijah are gone, Rebecca is marrying Marcel after she takes the cure and becomes human so she’ll eventually pass on. Marcel may or may not follow her. Kol is married to Davina and may well follow her when she eventually dies. Freya is human and while powerful, she’s not immortal. So with the Originals sorted out and Hope going back to the Salvatore School…it was the perfect tee-up to the first season of Legacies.

Legacies takes a look at the next generation with Hope Mikaelson , Josie and Lizzie Saltzman (yes those twins) and others. It’s a season about hard decisions and their consequences and like the title tells you, the legacies that get passed down from parent to child. We get to meet some amazing new characters and see exactly who and what and how things happen in a world post-TVD and TO. It also explains a little more about certain plot threads from The Originals and TVD.

Con Prep: Dragons Ahoy!

It’s August. Which means that con prep has shifted into high gear(as of the writing of this blog post, I have 23 days, 5 hours, and 33 minutes according to the countdown on the con website .)

I have my tentative panel schedule and it looks awesome. Of course, with it comes a fair bit of homework. Pleasurable homework – this year it’s rewatching/finishing 4 seasons of TV, rereading two books, and writing an updated workshop as well.

You know, in addition to my day job, writing the novel, and also working on Patreon things.

It’s going to be Crazy Pants McGee here in the Hobbit House that Nerd Built which is just the way we like it (it’s also the reason we take September off to recover).

I’ll post sneak peeks of my schedule throughout the month so you can see some of the awesome fun stuff I’ll be doing over Labor Day weekend.

Hopefully I’ll see some of you there as well! I’m in the program and on the website under my Muggle name. I’ll be in the app too as soon as this year’s version gets released.

How The Phantom Menace Saved Me

Image taken from TPM Wikipedia page.

Today is Phantom Menace day.  20 years ago today is when the first of the prequel trilogy of Star Wars was released and a whole new wave of Star Wars fervor swept the world. It was the first new Star Wars movie since 1983.   The excitement was beyond huge.

It was also the movie that saved me.  

Let me set the stage for you.  In May of 1999, I was 12 years old, an undiagnosed autistic kid dealing with a whole lot of sensory overload as well as mental overload because I was in a foreign country trying to figure which way was up.  I had help with it, but there was also a lot I couldn’t get help with yet because I simply did not know how to ask for it or even verbalize what was going on in my head. It was the late 90’s and literally no person would have looked at me and known that I was on the ASD spectrum.  I was female and what they called high-functioning and no one who didn’t see me in the middle of a full-on sensory meltdown would have even guessed that’s what was up with me.

I was also a former army brat who was extremely resentful that after having started to put down roots and double checked that we weren’t planning on moving and that I could quite possibly not actually have to be the new kid for once, that I could go to middle school with all of the rest of my friends and yearmates…and then before I could even blink, we were in the process of moving again.  And not just across the US but to a completely foreign country on the other side of the equator.

Because of all of that, I retreated inward a lot.  Stuck to my books and my games and what internet access I was allowed to have.  Talked when I was spoken to mostly or when I knew it would be expected of me. Didn’t bother otherwise.

The one thing I did know was that I loved science fiction.  I’d been raised on Star Trek and Babylon 5 but hadn’t been introduced to Star Wars until I’d asked my dad a question after hearing some boys on the bus talk about it.  He realized that no, he hadn’t shown us that, and that day went out to buy the trilogy on VHS. We spent the weekend watching them and it was the gateway to this fabulous new world full of adventures and terrifying villains and where the smartest hero was the girl and it was pretty brilliant all around.  My tiny 9 year old self was blown away. It wasn’t long before I was asking to rewatch them or if they knew anything more after the end of Return of the Jedi?

At 10, I found and proceeded to beg and plead and bargain for my mother to buy me this book I found that was all Star Wars in the book section of Kroger.  It was Vonda N. McIntyre’s The Crystal Star and my mind was blown open again by the fact that here were my heroes 10 years on, still alive and thriving, and OMG they had kids!!  

Fast forward back to 1999, the only real thing that to use my parents’ term, “brought me out of my shell”  was the fact that there was a new Star Wars movie coming out and I HAD to see it. Any thoughts I’d had on running away and calling my grandmother to please come get me (I had an international calling card in my possession) because I didn’t want to be here or doing something else drastic completely faded away because there was a new Star Wars movie coming out and I had to see it.  Which meant I had to stay where the money and the transportation were. I also had to be GOOD so that they’d take me to it. The desire to see the movie overrode every other thing in my brain.

Even better was the fact that at my local theater there, it wasn’t dubbed.  It was subtitled instead and that meant that I could go to see it and not miss anything because my language skills still weren’t super great.  

And it was exactly what I needed and more.  It gave me the Jedi and Anakin as a small thing and podracing and complicated political measures and a Queen and her handmaidens who were close to my age and being the most incredible capable awesome GIRLS  ever. It gave me new depths to the universe I was already in love with and new characters to fall in love with or hate desperately from the bottom of my heart (Darth Maul killing Qui-Gon had me seething in my seat).   I saw it four times in theaters and only one of those times was with my parents. I totally wrangled movie funds out of them for doing all manner of chores and homework and whatever. There were a bunch of kids in the neighborhood we were living in at the time and I’m pretty sure we all convinced their parents at one time or another to drop us off at the theater to go see the movie again and again.

By Source (WP:NFCC#4), Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=40390381


Best of all, it was part one and that meant there were more coming and that meant I had to do whatever I needed to so that I could be there to watch them.  

Later on, I went through that phase where everyone hated on it and disparaged it and made jokes about it and I ceded to the peer pressure then but deep down I never forgot that before I had antidepressants, before I even knew about sensory overload and major depression disorder and generalized anxiety disorder…I had Star Wars.  And that was enough at the time.

Without The Phantom Menace coming out in theaters today 20 years ago, I don’t honestly know if I would still be here or not.   Because of it and Star Wars, I have met some of the absolute best people in the world, I have friendships that I wouldn’t have had without it, and life is super awesome being the Star Wars nerd that I am.

NB: This post could not have been written without the awesome that is Bryan Young (find him here: https://www.swankmotron.com/ or on Twitter here: https://twitter.com/swankmotron

A Thought on Action Movies

It is always interesting to watch action movies when you are a child of the military-industrial complex. Growing up on military bases and in and around the DC-Metro area makes its mark on you. It’s a little weird to describe sometimes, but by both deliberate training and general osmosis, you become a little more sensitive to a whole host of things. You tend to notice different things that civilians don’t always pick up on.

So you pick up on a lot really quickly, because that’s a thing that keeps you alive in the real world, but those skills also transfer over to movie watching.

Especially action/adventure/spy movies (or shows). Which all of us have love/hate relationships with and none of us can actually stop watching them. It’s almost a game to spot the mole or spot that one flaw that is going to be SUPER critical in 5,4,3,2, now.

It gets even creepier when the thing takes place somewhere you know well. Winter Soldier is one of the finest pieces of action cinema that I’ve seen and it’s also one of the most chilling simply because I know that city and that terrain pretty intimately.

Olympus Has Fallen was literally breathtaking, not just because of the premise (which was terrifying on its own) but because of the response times. The little details in that film had some family members dissecting it and how it couldn’t work like that in real life for their own peace of mind.

MI-5/Spooks had some episodes that were similar in nature. The ones that were just a little too realistic and had us squirming uncomfortably on the couch because “there but for the Grace of God go I.”

The reason this thought came about was because my AR (Awesome Roomie) and I were watching an action movie (Stratton on Amazon Prime, I definitely recommend it) because I love action movies and she loves Tyler Hoechlin and we were both having audible reactions to some of it for really different reasons.

So which action movies/shows are your favorite? Let me know in the comments!

Sound The Bells

So this is a thing I love a lot. Sound The Bells by Dessa set to PacRim clips, telling a gorgeous story conveyed through exquisite craftsmanship.

In the past couple of weeks, my day job has been rather more intense than normal, which was expected (there’s a reason we refer to it as the year end deathmarch) so I’ve been laying low in my off hours. It was not exactly a stellar year and I’m closer to actual burnout than I want to be. So it’s time to read and rest and refresh myself. Part of that is going back to some of my favorite things. Things that make me happy.
I’ve been kicking around fandom for longer than I care to admit and one of the things that I love the most is the boundless creativity that springs up from it.

One of my friends linked the above video ages ago and I had to click on it – a fanvid set to one of my favorite songs using one of my favorite movies? It was a gift. I keep coming back to it too. The transitions are beautiful and the song pairs so well with the movie clips and even if you know nothing about the movie, you still get a great experience out of watching this video. It’s delightful artwork and it reminds me that fandom is supposed to be fun and it’s supposed to bring you joy in what you love.

Armistice Day: 100 Years Ago…Today

“I will come to a time in my backwards trip when November eleventh, accidentally my birthday, was a sacred day called Armistice Day. When I was a boy, all the people of all the nations which had fought in the First World War were silent during the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour of Armistice Day, which was the eleventh day of the eleventh month.

“It was during that minute in nineteen hundred and eighteen, that millions upon millions of human beings stopped butchering one and another. I have talked to old men who were on battlefields during that minute. They have told me in one way or another that the sudden silence was the voice of God. So we still have among us some men who can remember when God spoke clearly to mankind” – Kurt Vonnegut

**

They went with songs to the battle, they were young,
Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted;
They fell with their faces to the foe.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.  – For The Fallen,  Laurence Binyon

World Mental Health Day: Shine The Light

Today is World Mental Health Day.

And this is not the post I thought I’d be making, honestly. However, today has been been a little brutal when it comes to personal stuff.  In case you didn’t know,  I have anxiety and depression and pretty much have had them for a long time. A lot of it comes from the fact that I have several chronic illnesses as well as being on the autistic spectrum. The rest of it, well, the state of the world and it’s people, I’m sure you see my point.   There’s a lot out there lately and it’s overwhelming.

I’m on two different antidepressants to help me manage my mental illnesses as well as monthly therapy sessions. It helps.

I also have a pretty damn good support system. The people who make up my tribe and family are really astounding and they’re always there when I need them. I really can’t overstate the importance of that. They’re the people who make it all worth it.

They’re the people you stick around for. And on days like today, when you’re backsliding into despair and hopelessness and the fear is choking off your air, they’re the people with spare oxygen and lamps and reminders that living and living well is the most radical thing you can do.

They’re the people who warm up your leftovers and turn on the comfort movie. The people who immediately check in with you and ask if they can do anything.  They’re the light when all else goes out.

They’re the world and they’re so important.    And I wouldn’t be here without them.

So here’s to all of us with mental health issues and the people who love us and anchor us.   It’s going to get better.   As one of my favorite characters says, Faith manages.

We’re going to get through this.

Dragon Con 2018 Recap

This was definitely an undertaking and a half. I joke that preparing for DragonCon is similar to preparing for a major military offensive. With the size of the con + my health issues and the needs of my roommates…that analogy is not wrong.

This year had several challenges that came with it. The loss of an amazing director and second for a track that I dearly loved. The loss of a good friend who I shared so many amazing memories at this con with. A loss that actually proved harder to deal with than the loss of two of my mentors.

I got sexually harassed again, but not in the hamstertubes for once, it was actually when I had stepped into a corner to tie my shoe so that I wouldn’t be in anyone’s way. While I was doing that, someone came up and smacked me on the butt hard enough to almost send me face first into the carpet. To prevent breaking my face on the carpet, I put out my hands to stop myself, but the person had already disappeared back into the crowds so I never got a great look at anything but the black sneakers.

So yeah.

On the other side, I had amazing panels and got to network and meet people and see other people and show what’s awesome about DCON to someone who’d never been before. It got to see and hug and highfive so many of my nerd family, it was awesome. I got to talk about stuff I’m passionate about and nerd out with people who share that passion.

I also got to learn a hell of a lot from other people. It’s one of my favorite things about the convention. That I can learn from so many people and hear about so many things that I wouldn’t ordinarily be able to hear.

If you ever get a chance to hear Myke Cole speak, take it cause you won’t be sorry. He’s kind of spellbinding when he teaches. A human version of Orphan Black, can’t take your eyes off him or let your brain wander.

The American Sci Fi Media track is consistently some of the absolute best programming that you will ever see at a con. A lot of that is due to all the hard work that the track director, Kellen puts into the programming and the logistics. She’s an absolute joy to work with and so are the rest of her team. There were cookies that were divine and literally there is nothing but awesome here.

The Sci Fi Classics track offered me an opportunity this year to be on a panel with Cecil Baldwin and that was just amazing. He’s even better in person y’all. Gary and Joe and the rest of the staff there are more family then friends. I super appreciate all the love and latitude they offer.

I got to do my first panel with the High Fantasy track, which used to be the Tolkien Track and it was on WOT and that was blissful nerddom.

The Apocalypse Rising track with Shannon and the crew there are fabulous and I thoroughly enjoy each and every panel I get to do with them.

Working with Mike Stackpole and the Hourly Writing Workshops is always amazing and I greatly appreciate the privilege and honor it is to be able to teach with him. It’s exhilarating to be able to do this, to also know that he trusts me to do this, and it’s so much fun to teach and see all our seminar people and answer their questions and I really love doing it.

There, however, is a lot of controversy over the con and I would be lying if I didn’t say that it has me worried about continuing to attend. I worry about my safety as a disabled attending professional, I worry about my safety as a woman, I worry about the safety of my friends and family at the convention. Not just from the attendees, but also from some of the other guests.

There was a white supremacist table at the Sheraton, I believe, advertising for KekCon. Granted they were asked to leave once people realized what they were about, but they should NOT have been allowed to be there in the first place.

It massively sticks in my craw to hand over the con that I love so much to people as despicable as the actual Nazis and those stuck in the past who can’t seem to move forward. I love the progressive panels that talk about real things, representation, and mental health and why diversity matters.

I just wonder how long it’s going to continue to be safe for me to attend.

A National Holiday In My House

Today is Father’s Day, today is also the first Brasilian World Cup Game.  So we’re up at Serenity Valley (my parents’ place) decked out in our gold and green and blue, making a truly Brasilian meal (picanha com alho e oleo, arroz e feijao) and anxiously awaiting the start of the game.

We’re a little sad we can’t get the Brasilian game on a Brasilian channel, but we’ll make do.  The important thing is that we’re all together and we’re cheering madly for Brasil.   So have a picture of me and my daddy in our Brasilian garb.